Who you are inside, your core identity is key to your success and resilience. Nothing you attempt using externally, change your appearances will be equal to release when your core identity. That unleashes, as Tony Robbins calls it, “Your Giant Within”.
I have tried everything growing up: change clothes, fashion style, nickname, places, rebel against the system, hate my parents, friendship group, language, relationships, everything possible to try to find myself and to attempt to be accepted and loved. The only thing that gave me meaning and purpose in life was when I turned inside to search for the true meaning of my existence and my own identity – Who am I? That has taken literally years of my life.
Your core identity empowers your resilience more and enables you to discover your true self deep within. For those wanting to start now, I recommend a great book called Man´s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.”
― Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man
Turning to oneself is not an easy task, it takes not only time but the pain of self-scrutiny, self-examining, asking deep meaningful questions and waiting in silence, facing your fears, spending time with yourself. For someone like me who naturally struggles to sit still for too long, that was always challenging. It has been many years of painstaking learning. If it comes naturally now, that was certainly not true when I started in my teen years.
The problem is that many people (including me growing up) confuse their biased feelings, emotions and behaviours with their identity. Those are many times the result of pain, traumas, hurts, discomfort, inability to self-love, open wounds, etc they are not who we are inside. They obscure the beautiful divine light we are all born with. That pure manifestation of love and truth that somehow by the nature of external circumstances got dimmer and dimmer giving space to other external manifestations that replace the true identity. With time and a lot of glitter from external stimuli, the light within goes down and fade away. Wayne Dyer used to say “we are born fine, then we get defined, then we need to be refined”.
The defective inner program reconfigures our initial set-up to one that will keep us captive to our emotions and feelings, not our identity. As a result, we become subjected to appearances, external acceptance and approval. Once not reciprocated, it triggers feelings of rejection and anger: “How dare you not accept me the way I am?”_ I have had that thought many times. Yes, I´ve used that program until the day I discover that my true identity does not need approval, it does not wait for compliments, or need to be accepted anywhere, remodelled, redesigned, reconfigured, etc. I just am.
What I also found out is that my wrong alignments and desires, my journey to external sources of “identities” took me away from my nature and mother nature. The beautiful biological order that exists in the cosmos, no human can change that no matter how much we try. We must understand we are one with nature and biology. No new narrative can change the fact we are not by ourselves in this plane or we are not simply free to force our conditions to the natural environment, we are one with the universe.
We can try as much as we can but a square peg will never fit properly in a round hole. We are made unique, and we are gifted even before our arrival with a unique gift, talent, purpose and all that embedded in our identity.
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” – Mark Twain.
My identity is anchored in the divine spark and the gift of life I received, it will never be based on residues of past history and traumas, difficult upbringing, memories, or anything thing that might have happened to me. It runs deeper and it is oblivious to external circumstances. It is the hidden gem that when is found release your true self and build up your resilience enabling you to feel complete and successful no matter what happens in the outer world.
Your identity is the fingerprint of your soul, it is unique to you and it is beautiful. And that divine spark ignites your purpose in life.
When I hear someone say “I don´t feel this way” or “that way”; “I don´t see myself like this or that, when in truthfulness this is what they are but they don´t want to embrace it for all sorts of past experiences, fears and traumas, it makes my heart sink. It happens many times and since I have worked with people for more than 30 years I have experienced many times, able to cry with them and embrace the pain. Also in my own family and with close relatives.
The inability to feel loved and esteemed, the pain of rejection, the trauma that crept in from many years prevent them from growing in self-acceptance, self-love and self-confidence and self-reliance. I recently spent a long time with someone very close to me just going through this process and assuring him of the divine spark within him.
Real changes start first within, with “the Man/or woman in the mirror” like Michael Jackson once sang. Our reflected image in the mirror may pain us but it starts there, in accepting who you are within, a beautiful divine being full of light within.
The greater the self-acceptance the more likely you will grow strong resilient muscles in your life. There is no short cute to true success in life, as that is a manifestation of your inner world and not accolades from the external audience. Take a look in the mirror of your soul and love you for who you are, that is the starting point of the journey towards awakening your true identity.
Peace & Love